Lately, I’ve found myself thinking of the definition of family. Nothing out of the ordinary considering all the roles they’re cast in the production of a wedding. Traditionally, you have the siblings in the wedding party, the father walk you down the isle, your mother read a charming psalm, and the grandparents grinning happily in the front row. *Insert record scratch sound here* So much for tradition.
Family is quite the interesting topic for Nolan and I, and it might not even be explainable without several charts and schematics. He comes from a very large “branched-out” family, and who/what I consider family is a bit unorthodox. There are a lot of people in my life who aren’t technically a blood relation who have kept me sane, pieced me back together when I’ve fallen apart, and showed me all the possibilities out there for me. They’ve taught me more then I could have ever learned in a book, and defined loyalty, truth, and love. They ARE my family, and in thinking of my wedding, I want to celebrate not only who they are, but thank them for being there to both play in the sunshine and dance in the rain. Now the question is, how is that actually accomplished without adding 3 hours to an already lengthy Catholic Church ceremony?
Then I remembered the wedding of Nolan’s Uncles. When they were married, they offered everyone at their wedding a single white rose and when the ceremony part had come to a close as a sign of support to their union, asked the guests to take their rose and place it in it’s own ring of unity around the cake.
It was so completely moving and beautiful, I would love to recreate something like this at my wedding. This idea came in the form of a hybrid, because I want the traditional parental roles to have their moment in the spot light, but I also want these people who molded Nolan and I into who we are today to be recognized as well. In the ceremony once Nolan and I light our unity candle, these exceptional people (for example, stepparents, god parents, sisters from other misters, etc ) will be invited to bring their flower up and place it in a circle around the unity candle on the alter. Perhaps making the flowers slightly more significant by tying a satin ribbon (which would of course match the colors of the wedding) wrapped around it with their family name in calligraphy- but that might be thinking too much into it.
I haven’t really worked out all the kinks, but this is definitely something I want incorporated in our ceremony to show the appreciation of the most important people in our lives; more importantly, to invite them into our new family together.